What Does it Really Mean to Have High Standards in Dating?
High Standards Protect You, But What Qualifies Standards as High?
What Does It Really Mean to Have High Standards?
Having high standards means prioritizing your well-being and needs above a relationship, companionship, or just being entertained by someone.
A woman with high standards in dating protects herself from low-value experiences and devastating heartbreak.
It seems like every day, I hear a story about a woman who has suffered the unfortunate consequences of not being mindful of her dating choices.
This is not me blaming women or saying it’s solely their fault for becoming the target of an emotionally unavailable, manipulative, or cruel man.
This is about bringing awareness to the power of choice. Your choices create your future.
That’s why dating with high standards is more than just securing luxury items, high-end dates, and fully gifted trips. It’s beyond the material things and fun experiences.
Having high standards is about survival. It’s about prioritizing your well-being and needs over a relationship, companionship, or just someone to fill a void.
While material gifts, vacations, and quality dates can help gauge a man’s intentions, and his ability to protect, provide, and offer a comfortable life, these gestures are merely a symptom or a byproduct of his genuine interest in you—a preview of what’s to come if you choose him as your partner. They serve as a test to determine whether you’ll be safe and provided for in his presence. But it does not paint the full picture.
High standards are about emotional and physical safety. And that is what a woman truly needs—to feel safe.
Women have been misled, and sold on the fairytale idea that love, butterflies, and chemistry are the most important aspects of a relationship. That these fleeting emotions are signs that the relationship is meant to be, destined to last, and that everything else will magically fall into place.
“If you feel in love, if you’re obsessed with him, if you're captivated by how he makes you feel, you’ve found the one.”
This is where women go wrong—by not prioritizing how safe a man makes them feel, both emotionally and physically.
This is where high standards become relevant.
Because your number one priority should be safety and security. That is what sustains a relationship long-term, and what will benefit you, not fleeting feelings of being in love.
Love and chemistry will come and go. Attraction will ebb and flow. But safety? It’s either there, or it isn’t.
The fairytale love—the romantic moments, the butterflies, the deep emotional connection—will happen. It will heighten. You will get your love story.
But only after your safety and security are taken care of. Only after you have prioritized your emotional well-being and your needs—before chemistry and feelings of love take the lead.
When you approach a relationship backward—leading with the desire to fall in love, to feel obsessed, to get attached too quickly—you risk dismissing your standards or not having any altogether.
When you’re dating with high standards, you need to ask yourself:
Does this man make me feel safe?
Do I trust him?
Does he invest in and protect my well-being?
Do I respect him?
Can I rely on him?
Does he respect me?
Can he give me a comfortable life?
Does he have a high level of interest in me?
Does he support me?
Does he value and cherish me?
Is he sure about me?
And so on...
The main goal when dating is to find a man who offers comfort, safety, and security—both emotionally and physically.
Deprioritize the rush of love, the fleeting dopamine highs, the surface-level attraction, and the instant chemistry.
Long-term, your needs, desires, and well-being must come first.
for the girls who want better.
xo,
Aamina